Jace sent me this about 20 minutes after his last email….it's
interesting….
Lock Your Heart
Elder Spencer W. Kimball
Latin American Mission Tour, 1968
If there are
problems in the mission that you can give me light on so that I can help your
President and help you, that's what I'd like. if there are situations that are
difficult, if there are problems that are unknown - let me give you one
example: In one of the
missions I found a bad situation. One or two missionaries had been breaking
rules (as the President has talked about this morning). They began to break
some rules. All they did was go over to a certain home every Sunday night for a
dinner. The President didn't know anything about it. It wasn't very serious;
they should have been home studying, but it was a regular thing every week.
After a little while these missionaries were bringing others and pretty soon they
were dancing on Sunday night, a few of them. Then they were doing a little
flirting and then a few of them
got to playing cards there every Sunday night. And then they were dancing in
the dark with some of the Saint's girls!
The next thing
we knew there was an excommunication. I came there and
the things were revealed. I found that where there was only one boy who had
actually gone to the extreme where he had to be excommunicated, there were
about eighteen missionaries in this area who had followed like sheep over the
ledge. They had not intended to do anything wrong, but they had just kind of
followed the leadership. They had gone there to the meals - and they had gotten
into little flirtations - not too deeply, but the thing is that there were
eighteen missionaries who knew that this boy had gone too far. They knew that
he was necking and petting but not one of them would ever tell! When I
interviewed them and visited with them I said, "Why didn't you tell the
President that conditions were bad?" One of them said, "Well, That's
none of my business! This Elder can do as he pleases! If he wants to wreck his
mission, that's okay with me, it's his business, it's his mission! If he wants
to ruin his life that's up to him. It's his-life!!"
And then I said
to these Elders, "Well what about your missions? Isn't this your mission,
too? Isn't this your church, too? Are you willing that one person nullify all
that you've done here? You've spent 20 months down here, Elder, and you have
been working reasonably hard and at times you have done remarkably good work.
Are you willing that one scandal - one scandal in this out-of-the-world place -
will neutralize all that you've done? All of your efforts? That's what happens!
Are you willing to do that?" He said, "Well I hadn't thought of it
like that." Well, but that's what happened, isn't it, Elders? This is your
mission! This is your Church! One scandal in a community is enough to
annihilate the work of all of you, maybe all the work you do cumulatively- for
all your two years - neutralized by one scandal in the community! Do you think
that you have a loyalty? Where are your loyalties? Are you loyal to yourself?
Are you loyal-to your companion? Are you willing to let him go on, and on, and
on, and on, until he breaks his neck?
When he was
excommunicated it was a sad day in that mission because he was a fine young man
and all the missionaries loved him, and some of them were weeping that day. I
remember! Some of them were weeping tears! Their brother was being
excommunicated from the Church and sent home in disgrace!
And then I said
to them, "Elders! Do you know who excommunicated this boy? Not me; not
your President; not the Elder's court. It was you!! You excommunicated your
brother! How? Well, if you'd have said, 'Elder, lets not do that! That disturbs
our whole program. We lose spirituality, all of us, when things like this
happen.' Now suppose that he didn't yield and you said to him again, 'Elder,
you shouldn't do that! We can't be doing those kinds of things!' And then
suppose you'd gone a third time and said, 'Elder, I'm sorry, if you don't
desist I'm going to have to report to the Mission President because I'm not
going to have you destroy my work! I've worked too hard to have it all go to
the wind! I'm going to tell the President, not as a tattletale, but I'm going
to report to the President so that he can protect the whole program, if you
don't desist!'"
You see there is
nothing ugly about that, is there? That's the way it should be because our
loyalty is first to the Lord, to the Church, to the mission, to the World,
isn't it?
One more little
incident that is connected: In one United States mission one day a neighbor
came into the home of a new member. The neighbor was not a member, but she came
and she was used to just walking in through the door- you know, she didn't
always knock! So she came over to this home this day and she saw her friend,
the Latter-day Saint sister, sitting on a chair here and an Elder at her feet-
this will shock you- trimming her toe-nails or painting her toe-nails, or
something! Well, now that isn't an unpardonable sin, but it was indiscreet,
wasn't it? Even if there was nothing else that happened, just the fact that he
was sitting on the floor and that he didn't have on his tie and coat, and here
was a woman partly dressed, and here he was painting her toe-nails or doing
something! Anyway. that city was closed, absolutely closed to missionary work
for 20 years! Do you think missionaries could go in that city? Why of course
they couldn't! Because there was still the memory of this indiscretion! They
hadn't committed sin; at least, I'm quite sure he had never committed
immorality. I think it wasn't any more than an ugly indiscretion. It was ugly
enough, wasn't it? It was what it led to, you see?
That's why I say
this mission belongs to you. There are 150 of you and this mission belongs to
all of you. If anything happens to any part of this mission it gets a black
eye! It makes it more difficult to do anything! And it makes it more difficult
for you to go into the homes where they have heard ugly things about the
Church. That's why one Elder isn't by himself. He can't be a loner, He has got
to fit into the program, hasn't he? And everyone of you is interested.
Everyone!! And you can't afford to let your companion, or anyone you know, do
anything very serious because it all brings trouble to you and to the whole
program, Well, think about that a little, because some people say, "I'm
not going to be a stool pigeon! I'm not going to tattle! I'm not going to be
telling on people!" It isn't that at all! It's a reporting just like if
you saw a couple of robbers going into your neighbor's home. Would you say,
"Well, it's up to them! It's up to my neighbors!" No! ! We'd become
involved! We'd rush to the telephone, we'd call the police! In every case,
wouldn't we?
If we saw
somebody being injured, being killed - like in New York sometime ago, a girl
was stabbed and cut all to pieces by some maniac, and there were many people
who saw it and did nothing about it! She yelled for help, screamed for help,
said, "He's killing me!!" But nobody would move! They didn't even
call the police and there she lay, finally dead, on the street! Nobody would
involve themselves. It's time we would begin to get involved when involvement
is proper. And when any missionary in any mission begins to break mission
rules, it's time that all his companions should become involved! It doesn't
mean that they take over. It doesn't mean that they get ugly and mean. It just
means that they are interested and involved. There is a nice way to do it! I
tell you there wouldn't be very many broken rules if one missionary would just
say to the other, "Brother, lets not do that! Let's don't do that! 'Let's
don't stand there and talk to those girls! That isn't good!" And if we
stop it when it's fresh - when it's young you can stop it - but when it gets
deeply entrenched, that sin is awfully hard to dig out. And many times we have
to send missionaries home to their families in disgrace, with excommunication
frequently, because maybe their companions didn't love them enough! Maybe their
companions weren't helpful enough to say, "Well, now, you're getting off
the line just a little here! Let's don't do that! Let's get busy and do this,
and this, and this!"
This is one
program and we are all concerned about it. These mission rules, you see, are
very important. We've had 137 years of experience. Now that ought to be enough
experience to prove something, shouldn't it?
Through 137
years we have come to the conclusion that if two people will stay together the
chances for sin or serious trouble are reduced about 98%. Once in a great while
two companions will both go sour at the same time, but it isn't the usual
thing. If missionaries will, when they leave Salt Lake City, the Mission Home -
the day they are set apart - if they will just lock their hearts! If they've got a
girl in there that's all right, lock her in! But if you haven't got one
in, then lock it against all other girls of every description! And the same
applies for young women, too. I am talking mainly to you Elders. You lock your
heart and leave the key at home. And you never open it here! It's impossible to
fall in love with someone unless you open your heart! Your heart is the only
organ that has any ability to get into love, you see, and when a missionary
says, "I just fell in love with a girl!" Well, that's as silly as it
can be! Nobody does, nobody ever did!
So we just don't
fall in love unless we are fooling around. We never fall in a crater unless we
are somewhere near the edge of it. I have been up to Vesuvius and on a number
of craters and volcanoes and I know you just don't ever fall in a crater,
unless you are on the edge of it. And so you just keep your hearts locked! I
said lock them in Salt Lake when you leave the Mission Home and don't give a
thought to it. But if you go around say, "Well, she is kind of a pretty
girl! She surely is a sweet little thing! She's a nice girl! I'd like to talk
to her- I'd just like to visit with her!" Well, you are in for trouble and
that trouble can bring you a lifetime of trouble and a lifetime of regrets if
you continue on with it.
So, can I
impress that again? LOCK YOUR HEARTS and leave the key at home! Wherever you
live, leave the key home with your folks. And your heart - it's only that part
of it that deals with people generally that you open up. We just can't tolerate
it, can we? We can't individually; we can't totally. Someone said, "Well,
is there any harm to marry a Mexican girl if you are working in Mexico!
"No, that isn't any crime, but it proves that some missionary has had his
heart open! He has unlocked it! Is it wrong to marry a German girl when you
have been on a German mission? Why no, there is no crime in that, if you met
her some other way. But when you meet her in the mission field and you have
opened your heart, I tell you it isn't right, and you have shortchanged your
mission! Just keep your hearts locked. Your whole thought should be missionary
work. How can I make it more plain and more important than that? I'd like to
because there is no reason whatever for any missionary to ever become involved,
not even in a decent way, with any girl in the mission field. It isn't the
place! You guaranteed, you promised! You went through the Temple! You remember
what you did in the Temple? Remember you promised you'd do all the things the
brethren request of you, to live the commandments. That's one of the
commandments when you go into the mission field: "Thou shalt not flirt!
Thou shalt not associate with young women in the mission field - or anyone else
for that matter - on any other basis than the proselyting basis." You
promised, and you would not want to break a promise you made before the Lord in
the Holy Temple of the Lord. And when you wrote, the letter of acceptance to
President McKay that was implied in it. You knew of course - every missionary
knows - that he isn't going out to court, that he isn't going out to find a
wife! He's got plenty of opportunity when he gets home, and the mission field
isn't the place.
Sometimes we
find a young man who has not been popular at home; he has been very, very
backward at home and he hasn't had many dates. So when he gets out into the
mission field and somebody flatters him a little- some girl shows a lot of
interest in him - why he's flattered. He thinks all at once, "Well, that's
whom I should marry!" Well, I say this once more by repetition and for
emphasis, you LOCK YOUR HEARTS and if you haven't done so, do it now and send
the key back! You will not permit any impression, no romantic thought or
impression in your mind. For two years you have given yourself to the Lord,
totally, to teach the Gospel to the world. When you have done this perfectly
for two years and then you go home, you are infinitely more attractive, more
able, more dignified, more mature to make those important decisions for your
life in the matter of personages to enjoy eternity with you.
Well, I didn't
intend to get on to that, either, but I've been on it, and I hope I have not
been offensive in it at all. I hope you got the spirit of it. Should you know
of any problems that are aborning, problems that are beginning to develop, some
missionary who is getting off the track, some group that is getting a little
careless about mission rules, you can talk to them in a sweet kindly way. If
they persist, then there is something else to do and you have a loyalty to it.
God bless you
missionaries and I hope to visit with you a little longer later.
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